Like a Bird…..

There are these specific moments in your life that are meant to take your breath away. Not necessarily because of their inherent beauty or luster, but because of their sensibility to your certain journey in this life.

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These moments, they tend to make everything tangible. These moments of unity with people, places or things……they are defining. For once they make you feel a part of something you have been seeking for so long, or something you may never have known you wanted, but your life seems so small without now.

In these moments you can’t help but smile, because you realize everything you have been looking for has been right there waiting for you to stumble upon it.

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I think for me, once just a small town girl, with a large dream, and a small amount of power to make it happen. I climbed trees, I took long walks beside the creek, I jumped on trampolines, and I laid in the yard watching birds fly……always curious of what it would be like to see the world from up there. I wanted so badly to escape, I wanted so badly to be free, I wanted so badly to be the story book protagonists in all my favorite books. But what took me so long to realize, is that there is no need for power in dreams…..only passion. With passion we each possess something so much stronger than power. I may be older now, and I may be expected by certain types to take on more responsibility for my life. But whose to say I am not doing exactly what it is I was meant to.

You can never judge a person by what it is they are doing with their lives, because you have no idea what their journey is all about. I wasn’t born a banker, or an actress. I wasn’t born a suit, and I wasn’t born a planner. I was born a dreamer, I was born a bird, I was born a wanderer. No matter the steps I took in my previous years to be what it was others told me I was born to be, my passions never subsided. They still sat there in the forefront of my thoughts, and they picked at the walls I’d built around them, until the wall came crashing down.

And here I am, a dreamer more now than ever, a bird who has been in search of her wings for decades, a writer…..who writes it all down, because in ink and text my dreams seem real.

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Lately I have met those people, I have met those people who took all the walls down, who became what they were meant to be against all odds. Who may have been told they were crazy, but they accepted the lunacy, because it was the only thing that EVER seemed SANE to them . I have met the people who became birds, the people that stood on the edge of the world, and said…..why not?  They didn’t turn around, they didn’t subside to fear, they didn’t subside to rationale. They just….were. Because they knew if the didn’t take the step, they’d always wander, and they’d always think about that missed opportunity, and they would always be curious. No matter what you do with your passion, it is always there, waiting for you to take it up on its offer.

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Those people made me feel at home, in a place that never existed in my wildest dreams. I feel free, not that I wasn’t before. But I am free now, and I am playing in an entirely different space. And I will fly one day, not just in my dreams, but up there.

So one day when another little girl is laying in her yard, and staring up in the sky, and asking herself what it is she is supposed to do here. I will be up there looking down and smiling, because she can be and do anything she wants to do.

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Moab, Utah…..Scott, Andy, Haylee, Kevin, Jill, Matt……you are all little bits of inspirations to me. So happy to be a part in small way, and hopefully soon in a larger way, of something that is so defining about each of your lifestyles. It may have taken me a while longer to follow my thoughts, but either way I am here now, ready to take the next step out into the wide open sky. Here’s to all the birds, hopefully I’ll be flying beside you in no time .

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AMOR FATI

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