Long before I truly met you
We were connected.
In a way that only estranged lovers can be.
We were attached without acknowledgment.
We constantly sat with one another.
But empty conversations poured forth.
I ignored your presence in my life.
And you sat, patiently waiting for my approval.
I did not much care for you.
There were flaws that were present in your makeup.
Acknowledgement of your imperfect existence was painful for me.
But there was something beautiful to you as well.
I didn’t want to admit to it then, because I was scared.
But you sat with me no matter what.
Maybe you stayed because you had to.
But you wore my stories across your face, and skin.
The sun that lit my life made your hair golden in the summer.
The snowfall that chilled my winters, made your cheeks rosy.
Age had not given me the confidence yet to complement you then.
And I apologize for that.
You were always so lovely, and patient with me.
You may have felt at times that I hated you.
I did not, I just did not know who I was without you.
I wanted you to like me.
I wanted you to be perfect for me.
But something happened with time.
I found a love for your presence.
I found love for your strength.
I realized that by truly acknowledging you, and helping you.
That I would grow stronger as well.
I began to see light in the all the worn edges of your soul.
You became more beautiful to me that you will ever know.
I am so sorry that I ever denied you.
That I ever wanted more than you.
Everything that you have been or will be.
Was, and is magic.
The way your legs move.
The touch of your skin.
Your crooked smile.
Your tiny eyes.
The freckles on you left rib cage.
Your Nobby knees.
Your big toes.
Your knotted hair.
Is magic to me now.
Everything that I saw as a flaw.
I now see with love more deep than any other.
I began to fall in love with you.
And not because of your perfection.
But because of your strength.
Because of the paths that you have walked.
Because of the stories your mouth has told.
Because of the experiences your eyes have seen.
Because of the lovers you have embraced.
Because of the lines on your skin that have shown you have lived.
You are beautiful.
You are timeless.
I wasted so much of our life together.
Wanting more than you.
Only to find out you were the most beautiful gift I had ever been given.
Without you I am just a thought.
An empty vessel.
I have seen the light now.
And I promise to love you from this day forward.
I will take care of you.
I will respect you.
I will love you.
Worn edges, and all.
It’s you, and me babe.