I was standing in the middle of what seemed to be an airport terminal. Except instead of everyone waiting in lines or sitting in lounges, it appeared that everyone had already arrived.
Or departed. It was quite a vague place, but there was a feeling that sat with me that told me that I knew exactly where I was.
I was standing in a space that was neither here nor there.
I closed my eyes for a moment, and voices trailed alongside me. I needed a moment to step back into reality. Or my version of it.
When I opened my eyes again I was sitting at a very long table, a table that seemed so long that it may have had no end nor beginning. I looked in both directions for some kind of cessation, but I was not able to find what I wanted. Space seemed different here, so did time. Everything seemed original, and ever fluctuating.
I quickly gave in to the fact that I would not find my answers in a subjective observation of an unfamiliar place. So instead, I desired to observe and learn about the space around me.
I looked at the seats on either side of me. They were filled with faces of what appeared to be artists, and creatives. Each person seemed intriguing, and also fixed on their individual conversations or creations. No one seemed to notice me. I searched many pairs of eyes, but none met my own. It did not give me a feeling of loneliness or pity. It was a very peaceful observation. It was as if everyone here was present, and everyone was content with just being seen by one other person, or not being seen at all. It appeared that no one here wanted or needed anything from anyone else. They were so content in their linear relationships with the world around them, that they were not aware of the things that laid even inches alongside their peripherals.
I knew as I sat there and watched everyones lips move, and their eyes flutter…….that I belonged here, but that I had not quite been given the understanding that they all had. I knew that it would come with time.
Something else was distinctive about this place. Whenever I would go into my head or close my eyes. I could somehow turn all sound off around me. I could watch everyone animately express liveliness, but I could mentally drop the volume down until very little was heard. And as soon as I was bored of the silence I could bring it back up. I could hear the secrets told in whispers across tables far away. I could hear voices that were not within my visual range at all, and I was completely attuned and aware of just how far away they were and from which mouths they were being spoken. I felt electric with connectivity. There was no separation here.
My senses were alert, and more keen than they had ever been before.
I stood up and walked away from the table. I noticed that the tables grew as wide as they did long. Rows upon rows upon rows upon rows filled this vibrant white glowing corridor. I walked aside the length of the table, curious of how far I would need to walk in order to find new patterns form in the horizon.
I only took a few more steps before I stopped to close my eyes once again. And when I opened them I was back in the very eventful terminal that I first arrived at.
This time I was standing in a line of people that appeared to be waiting to weigh themselves on some new age looking scale. I was at the back of the line looking forward, but in just a breath and a blink of the eye…… there I was standing on the scale. I looked back over my shoulder, and the line seemed to go on infinitely. With no time to decipher how my position in the line had changed so quickly, I noticed the man who was standing beside the scale. He smiled at me in a very long moment that seemed to go on and on, and then very quickly I saw his finger reach forward and push a large blue button.
In just moment, something visually stimulated me and my eyes quickly closed. Moments from my life flashed behind my eye lids. And I saw myself step outside of myself. This other me was standing in front of a very very very large screen swiping left and right through very real moments of my life. Her hands were moving too quickly, but there were moments of pause. Many memories were ones that I had had, and many I could only assume were moments that I was meant to have in the future, some maybe I just did not remember. Like those moments of me as a child, or the moments of me before everything went dark.
So many meaningful moments flew by at the slight of my own hand. I can only assume that I was watching the Samsaric cycle of my life. That I had just watched myself be born into human existence, and I had just as quickly watched my own death. But my eye lids lifted, and there stood the same man smiling at me.
He said to me. “Oh, so you play the violin. That is lovely.”
I looked back at him slightly confused but at peace, I went to open my mouth to speak words, but no sound came out. He grabbed my hand carefully, and interlaced his fingers into mine. He walked away with me from the scale. I looked back wandering who would take over for him, and who would show everyone such lovely memories, but when I looked back the line was gone. All that was left behind me was vibrant light, and shadows of a blurred busy terminal peaking out from a very illuminating light.
When I turned back towards the man, I was no longer walking beside him but instead I was sitting next to a curly haired blonde boy who was drawing a lovely photo of a nude woman sitting on a rock, I watched as he drew with such focus and ease. I slowly drew my eyes forward, and caught sight of my violin case sitting in front of me on the table.
When I turned to look over my other shoulder….. my eyes fluttered open and I was staring at the ceiling in my bedroom, and it was morning.