Day 4. Nothingness

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There aren’t always words.

There doesn’t need to be.

There is something beautiful about the blank space left between broken phrases.

Something soothing, and pleasing about lingering between the pauses.

Something intimate about a space held for absolutely nothing.

So why do we feel the constant need to fill the silence?

There is this need to relentlessly be stimulated through word, thought and touch.

A longing to leave no corners of the mind, or mouth left untouched without word or reflection.

Speaking solely to hear our own voices, and words.

Creating sentence after sentence of the same stories that we have told time, and time again. 

So many overwhelming emotions, reactions, and imaginative cognitions to express.

And all at our finger tips ready to be spoken to any friendly ear that engages itself with us.

We sit behind ourselves’ self , and watch the words pour out like a broken record.

Tired of the same recurrences, but at mercy to their old patterns.

We think maybe, just maybe this time someone will hear us.

“Someone will understand the words that we speak.

This time the words will mean something more than before.

And maybe, just maybe if someone TRULY hears what it is that we have to say.

Maybe then …….we can just shut the f&*( up.”

We continue to tell ourselves this in order to justify our need to feel kindled.

In order to break the habit we have to find new ways to fan the old flames.

We have to create new behaviors to interconnect with ourselves.

We have to find new ways to relate to silence.

We must learn to recognize the luster that lives in silence.
 
We must recognize the peaceful quality of nothingness.
 
We must experience the weightlessness of breaking expectation.

When we let go of our fear of less.

We gain so much more.

We stand vulnerable in a space of solitude, in the present grace of our own minds without words to describe the experience.

And we feel no need to describe it.

Because we realize there is no one to describe it to.

It is a beautiful link we have made with nothing, and nothing can be explained of it.

The craving to explain it is over ruled by the desire for the peace that it has shaped.

And with time and practice, we begin to find an old friend in the long pauses.

And we linger in them, and we are swayed by them, and we find ease within them.

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